THE NURSING HOME

In December of 2008, my grandmother was admitted into a nursing home. This was a very difficult time for me. My grandmother raised me. She was one of the most important mentors of my life. She was a wholesomely funny woman with strong family values. In the past 10 years her Alzheimer's had worsened to the last stage. My aunt had been taking care of her for several years while I kept a distance.

My grandmother had been admitted into the hospital for pheumonia. Once released she was placed in a nursing home, at the request of her older children. I visited my grandmother daily. I knew that she would not be returning home. The nursing home is the last resort for 99.9% of the elderly and it becomes their resting place. This is realistically proven.

While in the nursing home she slowly deteriated further, because the nurses would not feed or make her drink her ensure drinks. I did the best I could based upon the circumstances. Family came and went on a daily basis. Eventually. my grandmother realized she was in a nursing home. Once she realized her dilemma of the nursing home, she completely gave up. She refused to eat or drink. Once a patient stops eating or drinking fluids they last no more than two weeks.

During this time from November of 2008 till January 28, 2009, I was able to spend time with my grandmother and speek to her about the Lord. She was accepting of Jesus Christ and prayed the salvation prayer with me. She was calm and serene until she realized that she was in a nursing home then she gave up.

On the night of her death, I knew 15 minutes before she breathed her last breath that she was leaving us. They nurses had placed her mattres on the floor that morning. Family and friends came to see her. The room was full throughout the day as people said their goodbyes. She was not co-herient or aware of her surroundings, but at one point I laid my head next to hers, and told her how much I loved her. brushing her hair, I realized that my grandmother was holding on because she thought I was mad at her.  A week prior I had asked her, "Don't give up. Promise me Grandma, that you will not give up. We can take you home soon." She promised me she would not give up the fight to return home. My grandmothers's alzheimers that was destroying her memory had become to much for her to keep her mind focused on this promise.

My aunt at that time was legally trying her best to be able to return my grandmother home to her, but the legalities took too long and she didn't have enough time before my grandmother died.

I laid my head next to hers on the mattress and rubbed her hair. 'I told my grandmother how much I loved her and that I forgave her.'  I didn't say what I forgave her for but she was co-herient enough to understand that I forgave her, then I said, "God forgives You. God Loves You and He is waiting for you." After I kissed her, I said "goodbye" and proceeded to leave the room. The room was filled with about five to six people. I told them, "Say your goodbyes now." and walked out of the room. I did not return.  Several people came out and asked for me to retur to the room. I told them, "No, I said my goodbyes, go say yours." within 15 minutes of me saying goodbye, she died peacefully with family surrounding her.

At this point I was starting to experience incidents of seeing shadows and not understanding them.
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